My Highly Ineffective Brain

I came across this article a while back:

The Ten Habits of Highly Effective Brains

and I finally understand why I'm a total tard. Here is the executive summary of the article:

1. Use it or Lose it
2. Nutrition
3. Exercise Your Body
4. Stay Positive
   
5. Challenge Your Brain
6. Aim High
7. Explore and Travel
   
8. Make Your Own Decisions
9. Stimulating Friendships
10. Laugh Often

Doesn't look good for me.

1st habit (Use it or Lose it) and 5th habit (Challenge your brain). I watch too much sports on TV and when I'm not doing that I'm blogging or watching a senseless movie like South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut. Too much passive stimulation so 1st and 5th habit are definitely out.

2nd habit (Nutrition). I love my ice cream, fat of the steak, krispy kremes, etc. No nutrition either.

3rd habit (Exercise your body). Used to be true - I used to exercise regularly, but definitely not recently.

4th habit (Stay positive). I stay positive until things get rough then I start blaming everything on my wife. Scratch this one off the list.

6th habit (Aim High). Yes! I aim high very often, but so far I'm missed badly every time I've aimed high. Scratch this one as well.

7th habit (Explore and Travel). I enjoy exploring and traveling to different places. I think about exploring and traveling to different places, but I can't miss the Patriots going 16-0 in the regular season or 49ers getting a 1st down. Still nothing.

8th habit (Make your own decisions). I don't even need to answer this one. I'm completely lost without my wife as described in a past blog entry. Still nadda.

9th habit (Stimulating friendships). At the rate I'm alienating everyone on this blog, friendship is definitely out of the question.

Only one more left...

1oth habit (Laugh often). Yes! I finally have one. I definitely laugh often, very often...at my own stupidity.

Conclusion - I have a highly ineffective brain...

Not all is lost, I did learn something from this...

Mom and Dad, you're off the hook. It's not your fault I'm a complete idiot. Don't blame yourself for my complete failure at everything I do. I'm sure your genes are great. I just never utilized them. You are great parents, but I just never listened. As you can tell, most of my retardation is due to my own bad habits. It's actually because my wife pampers me so often that I never get to practice any of the good habits describe above. So really. Mom. Dad. It's not your fault. It's my wife's fault. It's your daughter-in-law's fault. Blame it on her.

Honey, sorry to out you like this, but my highly ineffective brain doesn't allow me to realize that I'm treading on thin ice until it's too late...

The original article: http://www.sharpbrains.com/blog/2007/08/22/10-habits-of-highly-effective-brains/