Ferry Plaza Farmers Market

An awesome farmers market can be found just behind the Ferry Building in San Francisco. It's called the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market. It's there for 2 days a week: Tuesday 10am - 2pm and Saturday 8am - 2pm. The thing I love most about any farmers market is that I can graze my way through an assortment of fruits, vegetables, and anything that happens to catch my fancy at the time. The Ferry Plaza Farmers Market is not your typical farmers market. It is perfectly situated at the edge of the pier so that anyone can enjoy a beautiful view of the bay and the ocean breeze while shoving something delicious down their throat. There are just as many stands that offer prepared meals as there are that offer produce. This farmers market is the closely thing I've found in the Bay Area to the night markets that litter all the cities of Asia. There's nothing, I mean NOTHING, that beats eating your way through a night market. That's why this one is special in my book.

Here are some of the highlights of my experience at this farmers market:

Roli Roti's Porchetta Sandwich


I cannot tell you how good this sandwich is - all I can say is I'm a complete drooling idiot when I watch Thomas, the owner (I'm assuming), prepare my sandwich. He'll ask you, "Authentic style?" Just say "Yes", otherwise he'll tell you to go away. He'll rub the Focaccia-like bread in the juices from the roasted pork on the chopping board. He'll cut up several slices of the roast pork and put it on the bread. He'll finish up by adding caramelized onion and some garnish. Voila, the Porchetta sandwich is ready to go.


Capt'n Mike's Lox Sandwich


They have a few varieties of lox. In my opinion all are worth trying. The thing about Capt'n Mike is they keep it simple and to the point. They focus on quality and you can definitely taste it. These Lox sandwich are served as open sandwiches. The bread they use is artisan quality. The lox is accompanied by the organic vegetable of the day (I've had it with tomatoes, grilled bell peppers, and onions) and cream cheese. You can choose from White Lox, Red Lox, and Albacore Tuna Lox. You just can't go wrong having a lox sandwich in an environment like this - the bay, the pier, and the golden gate bridge all right there. Just beautiful.

Hayes Street Grill's Salmon BLT

Ok, I actually haven't had a chance to try their Salmon BLT, because every friggin time I line up for it, they will slap the "Sold Out" sign on it before I actually get to the front of the line to order it. I've seen what this Salmon concoction looks like. I know what it smells like. Based on those two data points I know what I'm missing. The fact that it ran out on me more than once is really really upsetting. There's no doubt in my mind that the next time I'm at this farmers market, the Hayes Street Grill stand is the one I hit first. I also know that when I finally get to sink my mouth into this thing of beauty that I will not be disappointed. I better not be. I've waited too long for this Salmon BLT.

Too Much Stuff To Remember


This farmers market is huge compared to the one in my neighborhood and therefore has a much wider variety of things to eat. Honestly, there just too many things to remember. The Lox Sandwich, the Porchetta sandwich, and the Salmon BLT are things that I remember, but I guaranteed that it's only a small sample of my entire experience. The truth is I tried so many different samples of fruits, vegetables, and everything in between that I can go without lunch because I just start in grazing in the morning until the early afternoon.

If you have never been to the Ferry Building's Farmers Market before I highly recommend you go. If you've been there or you're a regular attendee I'm very interested to hear your recommendations and experience.

Ferry Building Farmers Market Information:
http://www.ferrybuildingmarketplace.com/farmers_market.php

Good Twin Evil Twin: Steve Nash and Liam Gallagher

Is it just me or could Steve Nash of the Phoenix Suns and Liam Gallagher of the rock band Oasis be long lost twin?

See image below:



Just in case you couldn't tell the difference the one that looks completely drugged out (on the left) is Liam and the other is (on the right) is Steve.

Steve Nash's Bio:

• Fearless floor leader of the fastest basketball team on the planet
• Overall basketball stud
• Has eyes on the back of his head
  
• 2-time NBA MVP
• Involved in a few different charity organizations and founded the Steve Nash Foundation to help underprivileged youth

Liam Gallagher's Bio:

• Lead singer for Rock Band Oasis
• Enjoys getting drunk and then getting into fights
• Enjoys cocaine
• Penchant for violent outbursts
  
• Punching photograhers
  
• Penchant for flipping off people and anything in general
• Recently branded U2 as "Wankers"

Conclusion - Liam is the evil twin and Steve is the good twin.

Steve:



Liam:

Technology Bubble 2.0

This is an absolutely hilarious video about the "second wave" of technology innovation that's going on in Silicon Valley.

Illegal Black Market Transactions

My friend received this hilarious message in his spam folder:

------ Forwarded Message
From: Black market <XXX- EMAIL OMITTED -XXX>
Date: Wed, 28 Nov 2007 20:19:18 +0100
To: [XX - EMAIL ADDRESS OMITTED - XX]
Subject: [POSSIBLE SPAM] Black market

Black market is online again !

1. Heroin, in liquid and crystal form.
2. Rocket fuel and Tomohawk rockets (serious enquiries only).
3. Other rockets (Air-to-Air), orders in batches of 10.
4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.
5. We also offer gay-slaves for sale, we offer only such service on the NET,
you can choose the one you like, then get straight to business.
6. Fake currencies, such as Euros and US dollars, prices would match competition.
7. Also, as always, we offer widest range of [XX - OMITTED -XX] and exclusive lolita galleries, to keep out clients busy.

Everyone is welcome, be it in States or any other place worldwide.

ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.
Prepay your batch of rockets (air-to-air) and recieve a portable rocket-lacuncher.

For security reasons, please email me if you want to get address of our online shop.
XXX- EMAIL OMITTED -XXX

------ End of Forwarded Message

This is too funny. "Black Market" has every illegal business covered. I can just imagine the conversation between Black Market and a potential buyer...

Buyer calls Black Market and Black Market Customer Service Representative (CSR) picks up the phone...

CSR: Good afternoon sir. Thank you for calling Black Market. My name is John Doe. I will be your customer service representative today. How can I help you?
Buyer: Hi, I saw your promotional clearance offer - buy 30 grams of heroin and get 5 grams free. Put me in for 60 grams.
CSR: Ok. While I'm inputting your heroin order, can I interest you in some Tomahawk rockets for any potential terrorist endeavors?
Buyer: You carry Tomahawks? Well, in that case, I'll take 5 of them.
CSR: Sorry sir, We can only take orders in batches of 10. We need to know you are a serious buyer. Terrorism should not be taken lightly.
Buyer: Of course. In that case, let's make it 20 Tomahawks.
CSR: Great! I'll start putting in the order right now. While I'm doing that sir, can I interest you in a sex slaves? We are currently offering such services exclusively through the Internet, but my manager told me that I can offer it to buyers who buy 10 or more Tomahawks. Interested?
Buyer: Hmmm, you know I don't really need the 10 free grams of heroin from my 60 gram purchase. Can I exchange it for a sex slave?
CSR: Let me ask my manager. Please hold sir.
[....elevator music....]
CSR: Thank you for holding sir. My manager said that we can only do the exchange for a sex slave on purchases of 120 grams of heroin or more.
Buyer: Ok, put me in for 120 grams of heroin.
CSR: No problemo. What type of sex slave are you looking for, sir?
Buyer: Gay Asian male.
CSR: Ok sir, let me do a quick check against our database to see what's available
Buyer: Ok
CSR: Ok, we have 2 possible matches. It looks like we have a gay male 5 foot 9 inches of Asian ancestry ready for delivery in 2 months. We also have a straight male 5 foot 6 inches of mixed Asian ancestry ready to be shipped out tomorrow. Which one do you want sir?
Buyer: I want the gay one, but I don't want to wait 2 months...
CSR: Sir, these guys are your "slaves". You can do whatever you want with them.
Buyer: Hmmm. My concern with the straight one is he lacks "experience"
CSR: I understand your concern. They're professionals. They're quick learners. Furthermore, you can mentor them. Think of the mentoring as foreplay.
Buyer: That's a very good point - I'll take the straight one then.
CSR: Ok sir, is there anything else I can help you with today?
Buyer: Nope, I think that's it.
CSR: Ok sir, I am confirming your order for 20 Tomahawk rockets and 120 grams of heroin with a complementary Asian male sex slave.
Buyer: Sounds good.
CSR: And since you are our first callers of the day we will be throwing in a free trial packet of fake Euros.
Buyer: Great!
CSR: Please bring the cash to the secret location for the transaction. We will call you back in an hour to tell you where that is.
Buyer: Ok. Thanks a lot for your help!
CSR: No problem sir. Black Market would like to thank you for business. You have a good day sir.
Buyer: Thanks. Bye.
CSR: Bye.

It's so good that I'd rather not eat anything else

I just finished dinner. My wife did it again. She channeled Julia Child and made something so amazing that I just didn't want to eat anything else. It was so good that I was in no mood to share any of it with anyone. It was so good that I just wanted to be left alone while I was eating it. It was so good that when my wife asked me to try another dish she made I just ignored her. It was so good that when my wife told me she thought another dish was better and I considered putting her in the doghouse that she usually puts me in. It was so good that I had to blog about it.

She made African Tilapia Soup. I so love my wife when she does stuff like this...

Alright folks enough of the sales pitch. Pay attention. Here's the important part. The recipe. Hey Mom and Dad this recipe is for you guys in particular because I know you will definitely enjoy and it's particularly appropriate for this cold weather we are currently have.

1. Pan sear 1 live and fresh African Tilapia (Fei Zhou Ce Yu) on both sides until it's golden.
2. Put the Tilapia in a cooking pot
3. Add enough hot water so that the entire Tilapia is completely submerged
   
4. Add 5 cloves of garlic
5. Add 3 slices of ginger
6. Boil it for 5 minutes
7. Add one rice bowl worth of chinese sauerkraut or pickled cabbage (suan cai)
   
8. Add one rice bowl worth of wood ear (mu er)
9. Boil for 20 more minutes
10. Add a few pinch of salt
    

That's it. It's ready to be eaten.

Bon Appetit!

Good Niece Evil Niece

In my continuing effort to alienate my sister-in-law and my wife (cross reference my previous blog entries: My Two Wives and Highlights from my niece's birthday party), I will tell everyone that I believe my niece has multiple personalities: Good Niece and Evil Niece. The Good niece is the one that makes me say, "Awww, she so cute. Honey, you think we can take it home for couple of days?" The Evil Niece is the one that makes me say, "What the @%*$ is she whining about? Why the @%*$ won't she shut up?!"

Which one am I going to get? When am I going to get which one? How can I keep Evil Niece at bay?

Here are some past situations of how Good Niece becames Evil Niece:

Situation 1 - Yellow Submarine

My wife and I borrowed our niece and headed to Brentwood, CA for a fruit picking trip. It's a long drive from where we live so we had to make sure we had something to keep her entertained and occupied. A Beatles CD should do it. She enjoyed most of the Beatles songs, but the one that she really fell in love with was Yellow Submarine so we replayed it for her, but this time we made it a sing-along so she can learn it. Boy did she pick it up fast. Smart little thing - The Good Niece is still the dominant personality. She's laughing and singing with no whining or crying in sight. Unfortunately that was the only song she wanted to listen to from that point on and we were still quite far from Brentwood. Enter Evil Niece. We had to do a sing-along to Yellow Submarine for over an hour. I wanted to put a bullet in my head after 30 minutes. After 40 minutes, the thought of throwing her out the car crossed my mind. In the end, thanks to Evil Niece, I now hate Yellow Submarine. The only time I would consider playing it is if Evil Niece throws a temper tantrum and I know that's the only way to calm her down.

Situation 2 - Dancing Baby Video

It's the Thanksgiving weekend. My sister-in-law and her niece are staying over at my place. Good Niece decided to come and play with Uncle JS. I just happen to have the famous Dancing Baby Video handy and I decided to play it for her. Good Niece thought it was the funniest thing in the world and started singing along and mimicking the baby's dancing. I had my wife and my sister-in-law come over to watch Good Niece do her thing. We all thought she was so cute. Can you guess what happened next? Enter Evil Niece. For the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend, every time there was a chance she would come by and start singing, "I can't stop this feeling..." and wanted me to show her the dancing baby video. I'm taking a nap and she wakes me up to ask me, "Show me dancing baby video". I'm watching football and she wants dancing baby video. I'm blogging, she comes up to me...dancing baby video. I'm working in the backyard, she comes out to find, dancing baby video. I'm in the bathroom, "knock knock", dancing baby video. The low point of the whole thing - Imagine my niece, my wife, and I singing and dancing to the dancing baby video. Imagine that. Imagine my hips trying to move like that baby. Yeah, that's pretty embarrassing isn't it.

Situation 3 - Apple Juice

It's 10pm at night. I'm driving home after a full day of activities. My wife, my sister-in-law, and Good Niece are all in the car. My sister-in-law mentioned that Good Niece like to drink apple juice. That's a good thing. Apple juice is good for her. Auntie and Uncle will make you some homemade apple juice when we get home. Enter Evil Niece, "I don't like your apple juice. I don't want to drink your apple juice. I want the apple juice just like home." Ummm, it's 10pm and there's no place to get the crappy Costco sugar water pretending to be "apple juice" that you like. Just like that the whining begins and it did not stop. It's a like a bloody broken record, "waaah apple juice, waaah apple juice..." Mommy chimes in once in a while to tell Evil Niece that there's no way to get apple juice at this time of the night. "waaah apple juice, waah apple juice..." I tell my wife to find the Beatles' Yellow Submarine CD. No luck. "waaah, apple juice, waah, apple juice..." I pick up a scarf, make it into a ball, and tell my sister-in-law to stuff it down Evil Niece's throat. My sister-in-law gives me a dirty look. "waaah, apple juice, waaah, apple juice..." Ok, ok, ok, Uncle JS will show you the dancing baby video when we get home. "waaah, apple juice, waaah, apple juice..." This went on for about 30 minutes, but it felt like 30 hours. The thought of throwing Evil Niece out of the car crosses my mind again.

I give up. The next time my niece is coming to my place I'll make sure I have some apple juice stored away in the frig...

and dearest sister-in-law, here are the videos your daughter loves so much. You can now play it for her anytime she wants - your baby doesn't have to ask Uncle JS to play it for her anymore.

Yellow Submarine:



Dancing Baby:

I'm Rock-N-Roll

My wife recently found a new hair stylist. She did a great job on my wife's hair so I figured I'd give her a try as well. We usually share the same hair stylist for the sake of the two-hearts-beat-as-one til-death-us-part crap.

My previous hair stylist would never cut my hair the way I wanted. I would ask him to cut my hair shorter and he would refuse to do it. He would say, "You don't look good with short hair so I'm not doing it." I'd put up with it because the bush on my head would actually look decent after he's done with it and he gives a great head massage while shampooing my hair. The problem was after 2 months I'd start to look like I have a mullet (in case you didn't know - having a mullet is not something to be proud of) and since my wife's changing hair stylists, I figured I'd do the same.

The first positive thing I noticed about my wife's new hair stylists is she's a she. I'd much prefer a female playing around with my hair, particular when it comes to a head massage if you know what I mean. She asked me how would I like my haircut. During this exchange I realize she doesn't speak English very well - this hair salon mainly served Koreans and I don't speak Korean - so I decide to keep it simple and told her to clean it up, but keep the same style.

As she starts working on my hair, we are making small talk like all hair stylists and their clients do. She's very friendly - I try to joke a little with her, but the cultural barrier makes it a little bit difficult. She doesn't want to be rude and gives me a polite laugh here and there - like I said she's very friendly. I also begin to notice that she's pretty good looking as well. Things are beginning look like I'm going to have a new hair stylist. I figured if I spend more time staring at her instead of myself in the mirror, she won't know that I'm a self-absorbed ego-maniac until it's too late.

As she's finishing up, I noticed that she didn't do much to the hair just above my ears. I said to her, "The sides are still long. Make them shorter." She replied with her broken English, "No, no, don't look good short. Grow longer. I will curl later." I thought I misunderstood the last part - "I will curl later". She proceeded to plug the curling iron into the power outlet. I'm thinking I must've misunderstood her, there's no way she's using a curling iron on a man - it's never been done before. She then proceeded to shampoo and blow dry my hair and I began to think that the curling iron thing was just my misunderstanding. After she was done with that, she picked up the curling iron and started curling my hair. No way! She began with curling the back and finished by curling the sides. There was no misunderstanding.

I tried so hard to keep myself from laughing while she was doing this. Once I was done, my wife saw me and a look of confusion covered her face. She wanted to laugh too. I told her, "Don't laugh. Just pay the bill and let's get out of here. Tip the hair stylist extra. This is one of the funniest thing that happened all week." As soon as we made it out of the hair salon we both burst into laughter. My wife said, "You look like a girl!" and I responded, "Oh my god honey, I was biting my tongue to stop myself from laughing the whole time."

After we got into my car, my wife wanted to fix my hair, but I wouldn't let her because we were going to visit my folks and I wanted them to see it. I looked too funny for them to miss this.

Once I stepped into my folk's house, everyone was like, "Did you get a hair cut?" Not the reaction I was expecting. Where was the laughter? Then my brother walked into the room and saw me. First thing out of his mouth was, "Dude, you look that guy in the rock band, Liam Gallagher of Oasis."

Apparently, my curls had "calmed down" to a point where I don't look like a girl anymore, but more like a wannabe rockstar. Here are the pictures for you to decide for yourself.

Me:


Rock Star:


Note the captions above the images just in case you cannot tell the difference because I'm so Rock-N-Roll right now.

Ok, I definitely do not look as cool or as drugged out as him. Nevertheless, it's close enough. I have a new hair stylist now because, in my mind, she makes me look like a rock star.

Dude, I'm Rock-N-Roll...