Honey, we need to talk....

Wife,

We need to talk. I recently found this article: The 5 Surprising Symptoms of Infidelity and I want you to hear it from me first. According to this article the 5 symptoms of infidelity are:

1. He doesn't pay his bills on time
   
2. He's a do-gooder
   
3. He's rolling in the dough
   
4. He's a yeller
   
5. He's a mirror hog
   

Honey, look at the list and I think you'll agree that the only one that doesn't apply to me is "3. He's rolling in the dough". I personally think this article is rubbish. Pure rubbish because I love you and I would never be unfaithful to you. My opinion on this matter is the final word - there will be no further discussions.

By the way, I'll be working late tonight and I won't be home for dinner - something came up at the last minute. Don't wait up for me.

Love ya...