Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Dear Boston, please send some of your Sports Mojo to San Francisco

Dear Boston, MA

We (San Francisco) envy you. Your recent success in professional sports can only be matched by our utter failure.

Your beloved Boston Red Sox recently won the World Series by crushing the Colorado Rockies 4-0. Since it seems inevitable that A-Rod will re-join the hated Yankees, they will just be good enough to not win the World Series which leaves the doors open for you guys. Your New England Patriots have captivated the entire sports nation with the march towards the perfect season. The worst that can happen is you may lose a game and be imperfect, but you will win your 4th Lombardi Trophy in 7 years barring any major injuries. Your Boston Celtics, after an initially rough offseason, landed Kevin Garnett hailing the 2nd coming of the Big Three immediately taking the team from bottom feeders to definite playoff and possible championship contender.

We, on the other hand, have the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland A's - bottom feeders of their division last season. It will likely be the same next season. We had Barriod Bonds, but half of us never really cared for him anyways. The San Francisco 49ers are going to have yet another losing season. They are literally half a football team - they have no offensive. Have you ever tried to watch an entire Niners game this season? Don't bother it's painful. The Oakland Raiders are the Oakland Raiders. They don't even have enough fans to fill the stadium - most home games are blacked out on TV. To add insult to injury, the coach constantly tease the few but dedicated Raiders fans by not playing their number draft pick, JaMarcus Russell. And there's the Golden State Warriors. They gave us such high expectations by taking out the Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the playoffs last season only to lose their first 6 games of the seasons landing them last in the Pacific standing. Guess who's next to last? You got it, the Sacramento Kings.

It's apparent that you, Boston, have all the Sports Mojo and we don't. Please share some of it with us. We could really use some right now.

In some sense you owe us. You might be asking us "Why?"

Well, here are 2 reasons:

1) Tom Brady



He grew up in San Mateo, CA. We raised him for you. Everyone compares him to Joe Montana because he probably grew up watching him. Boston, he is your poster boy for all the winning in your part of town because he learned from the best - Joe Montana.

2) Randy Moss



We did you a big favor with Randy. We filtered all the bad stuff out his system in Oakland and now he's going to break Jerry Rice's single season touchdown record. You know how much that hurts? Jerry Rice is a god in San Francisco and Randy, the guy we cleaned up for you, is going to top Jerry. That really hurts.

You owe us big time...

Yeah, I know there's still a long ways to go with the Pats and Celtics, but don't tell me Bostonians aren't enjoying the ride.

So, Boston, please send us some of your Sports Mojo. Thank you.

Regards,
San Francisco, CA

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