Honey, we need to talk....

Wife,

We need to talk. I recently found this article: The 5 Surprising Symptoms of Infidelity and I want you to hear it from me first. According to this article the 5 symptoms of infidelity are:

1. He doesn't pay his bills on time
   
2. He's a do-gooder
   
3. He's rolling in the dough
   
4. He's a yeller
   
5. He's a mirror hog
   

Honey, look at the list and I think you'll agree that the only one that doesn't apply to me is "3. He's rolling in the dough". I personally think this article is rubbish. Pure rubbish because I love you and I would never be unfaithful to you. My opinion on this matter is the final word - there will be no further discussions.

By the way, I'll be working late tonight and I won't be home for dinner - something came up at the last minute. Don't wait up for me.

Love ya...

My Two Wives

My sister-in-law and her daughter stayed at my place during the Thanksgiving weekend. I was actually looking forward to this because I enjoy having more people around during any event that involves major feasting.

A quick note before I continue - My sister-in-law and I get along very well and I'm going to attempt to ruin that right now just like I did with this blog entry about her daughter

It's Thanksgiving morning. I did not set the alarm clock. There's no need. I was awakened by a frantically ringing door bell this particular morning. It's my sister-in-law. She just arrived at our house. Apparently she wants us to let her in. How self-centered. I stumbled out of my bed and tried to put on some clothes. I'm still half asleep and I almost ate it a couple of times trying to put on my pants while I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, "Hold on! I hear you! I'm on my way!" She continues to ring the door bell frantically. I finally open the door and she see my bed-head and my barely-opened eyes and said, "Why are you still asleep? Took you long enough to get the door. You know, it's freezing outside."

No I didn't, because I was nice and warm in bed until you woke me up, thank you very much...and Happy Thanksgiving to you too sis.

Not too long after that, everyone was getting ready to start the day. My wife and my sister-in-law were both working out the plan for the next few days and I was preparing to clean the hardwood floors. As I was prepping things I heard my sister-in-law make a comment to my wife, "JS is such a good husband to help you with the house chores." My wife immediately replies, "He's just doing it for show because you're here today. This is the first time he's done anything like this."

I'm flabbergasted - that's a flat out lie. Obviously, my wife was being sarcastic. Regardless, I felt a strong urge to defend myself by telling everyone that my wife and I decided the night before that I'm cleaning the hardwood floors and she's preparing the Thanksgiving dinner because the other way around would be a complete disaster.

Well, the sisters smelled blood and it's a sign of things to come.

Before lunch even rolled around, they had taken away what little power I had left. They both were ganging up on me on just about everything. If I said something and my wife disagreed with me, they both would disagree with me. If I did something and my sister-in-law didn't like it, the both of them wouldn't like it. Dear god, they were tag-teaming me any chance they could.

They're having way too much fun.

Ok, I get it - a wife is supposed to make their husband feel completely incompetent. I know it's a time-honored tradition among married women, but I now have two married women in my house making me feel like a complete retard. Slowly, but surely I begin to realized what I've signed up for...

Two Wives for Thanksgiving.

I feel sick. Let me tell you, there's nothing to give thanks about. By letting my sister-in-law stay with us for the next several days I've effectively gained additional responsibilities without any of the benefits. To make matters worse there's a whining little 5 year old involved!

I realized the predicament I'm in so I resort to the only option any reasonable man can come up with - I completely withdraw from any social interaction with them by pretending like I'm doing something really important. This plan works for about 30 minutes until everyone begins to settle into their chores for the day. My wife is in the kitchen preparing our Thanksgiving dinner. My sister-in-law is in the living room babysitting her daughter and helping out my wife as required.

Suddenly my wife calls out to me from the kitchen, "Honey, can you help me find a scissor? There should be one in the bathroom."

I purposely do not answer for fear that the both of them will use this as opportunity to gang up on me again. I try to sneak out into the backyard, but suddenly I hear another voice repeat the same thing, "Honey, can you help me find a scissor? There should be one in the bathroom." This voice didn't come from the kitchen. It came from the living room. It's my sister-in-law.

Dude...

The both of them do this for the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend. I hear everything that starts with "Honey" twice.

"Honey, can you take out the garbage?" Two seconds later I hear an echo, "Honey, can you take out the garbage?"

"Honey, can you clean this up?" Two seconds later, I hear an echo, "Honey, can you clean this up?"

Very friggin funny...

Sister-in-law's husband - I know why you were out-of-town. You've been married for a while now. You've probably been there and saw this coming. I took one for the team. You owe me.

Other family members who's reading this and can't believe I painted my wife and my sister-in-law in such a negative light - Go ahead tell them about what I've written. Tell all the other family members that I went overboard with this. I dare you. I'm empowered. I'm a bloody blogger. I've got stuff on you too and I can be very prolific.

Cringe Worthy: A Man-Cupid As A Ringbearer

Now I'm not one to take a cheap shot at stuff like this, but I'm making an exception for this one because it's just too good to pass up. My wife showed me this posting on liba.com's forum:

http://bbs.sh.liba.com/topic.php?forumId=48&topicId=2014768&page=26

A lady posted the pictures of her recent wedding ceremony here. She also described the dialogue and the sequence of each event in detail. My wife and I were cringing as we read through these postings. It's actually a lot like watching Ricky Gervais in The Office or Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm except this is real. These folks actually though this was a good idea. The posting is completely in Chinese. If you know how to read Chinese, click on the link above to see how cringe-worthy this wedding was. If you don't know how to read Chinese or you don't wish to waste your time, just check out this picture from the wedding:



(click here to see the original posting with the above image)

A picture is worth a thousand words. This picture basically sums up what's wrong with the wedding - They had a Man-Cupid as the Ringbearer!

I'm speechless...

Check out the dude sitting just left of the Man-Cupid. Look at his expression. He's like, "What the hell? It's the Archangel Gabriel! Wait, no, it's a friggin Man-Cupid Ringbearer! What the @#$%?! I knew it! I knew the bride and groom were licking acid while planning this wedding. I can't believe I'm related to these frigtards. Oh god! The photographer just took a picture of me with this ridiculous Man-Cupid and the bride's gonna put this image on the Internet so every idiot blogger can make fun of me."

My wife and I were laughing so hard when we saw this picture that we both realized that I needed to blog this.

The worst crepe I've ever eaten and I blame it on my wife

We are in Walnut Creek, CA. My wife and I just finished dinner. We had Japanese. This place was horrible so I was still itching to get some decent eats. I was not happy. During our stroll back to the car, I began lecturing her (actually it was more like whining) about how we should never go to restaurants that are in the Entertainment Book, "Honey, these restaurants are in the Entertainment Book because they suck. The only way they can get customers in the door is with discount coupons. We're not buying these books again. It's a waste of money. Wait, we should buy it so we know which ones to avoid..."

I'm on a roll. I'm excelling at being a total brat. I'm going on and on and on and just as my wife was going to plug her ears I fall silent. My jaw drops to the ground because I see Crepes A Go Go.

We didn't have dessert yet!

I am a Buddhist reaching Nirvana. I am a Muslim at Mecca. I am a Christian standing on a beach who just saw Mother Mary in the billowing waves. I AM A MAN WHO JUST HAD A CRAPPY DINNER AND REALIZED HE CAN SALVAGE THE NIGHT WITH A GOOD DESSERT!

I love Crepes A Go Go - particular the one in San Francisco. It's time to give the one in Walnut Creek a try. I think I started skipping. I turned to my wife and said, "Honey we are having crepe for dessert." She replied, "I don't like dessert crepe, besides I'm too full right now."

I did the right thing - I ignored her and dragged her into Crepes A Go Go. I ordered a Fresh Strawberries Nutella Crepe. I asked her what she wanted and she said, "I told you I'm not eating anything..."

Fine, your loss honey...

We sat down and the waitress brought us the crepe.

I am Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

I started digging into the crepe. I was tearing it apart and shoving it down my throat like a lion who's having his first meal in a month. I am the King of the Beast. Then I realized something - I was the only one with a Nutella goatee. My wife looked completely dejected watching me eat. I wiped off my goatee and offered her a piece.

She looked at me and said, "I told you I'm too full to eat anything right now and I also told you I do not like dessert crepe."

What?! Are you high?! You don't like dessert crepe?!

Of course I didn't say that to her, but it's what I was thinking. I insisted and proceeded to offer her a piece of the crepe again. She just shook her head and I realized something...

It doesn't matter how good the food is if I can't share it with my wife - it's only good if I can enjoy it with loved ones. The crepe didn't taste good anymore. I couldn't take another bite.

Thanks wife. You totally ruined it for me. I am a cockroach trying to making my way in this world and you just crushed me with your sandals.

[Crepes A Go Go: 1432 N. Main St., Walnut Creek, CA 94596, (925) 944-5790]

I can do it too? Really? Yeah right...

I've read Tim Ferriss's The 4-Hour Work Week - I personally think what he has to say is very interesting and very doable. He recently gave a quick discussion about how to learn any language in 1 hour on his blog: How to Learn (But Not Master) Any Language in 1 Hour (Plus: A Favor)

Ok, what is Tim smoking? I can do it too? Really? Yeah right...

Actually, this thing is classic Tim Ferriss. I guess he's serious. Well, I'm trying to learn Spanish anyways. It would be nice to get past "hola", "adios", "gracias", "cerveza por favor" and "donde esta el bano?". I'll give it a try. I'll let you know how it goes.

Saving A Turkey With A Sacrificial Lamb

Thanksgiving 2007, we decided to pass on the turkey and go with a leg of lamb. There's at least one happy turkey out there somewhere...

My wife's original idea was to put a twist on Qaubili Pilau, a classic Afghani dish, by burying an entire leg of lamb instead cubes of lamb in the basmati rice.

Ooooh Yeeeah, that sounds awesome!

However, I inadvertently changed our plans. My father actually did exactly what she's talking about a few years back and I couldn't avoid mentioning this to her. I even went on to tell her that she should ask my father for the recipe. Well, she didn't take my advice too well. Apparently she felt that another family member stole her thunder. It's no longer an original idea - she didn't want to be a copycat and insisted that we do something else with the leg of lamb. Of course I'm quite upset that I won't be getting homemade Qaubili Pilau, but I resisted throwing a temper tantrum like my niece would do when we don't let her watch Dora The Explorer for 8 hours straight. I'm a mature adult after all, it would be really improper to throw a temper tantrum, so I just pouted for a few hours.

Apparently, pouting didn't change her mind so we, I mean, she decided to do something else; marinate the leg of lamb and roast it in the oven. Ok, that actually sounds really good so I turned my frown upside down.

Here's the recipe:

1) Marinate the leg of lamb in the following mixture for a day:

• chopped celery
• chopped onions
• chopped green onions
• chopped tomatoes
• chopped garlic
• chopped ginger
• Sichuan pepper and salt mixture (hua jiao)
  
• star anise (ba jiao)
  
• fennel seeds
• salt
• soy sauce
• cooking wine

2) Roast the leg of lamb in the oven for about 2.5 hours

3) Make some flour tortilla. It is vital that the flour tortilla is freshly made - this makes a big difference

4) Dice up some fresh cilantro

5) Slice up some fresh green onions

Slice the leg of lamb as thick or as thin as one prefers. It is served much like a traditional taco. Plop the lamb on the flour tortilla. Garnish it with as much green onion slices and diced cilantro as you want.

Voila, a roasted leg of lamb that is a fusion of Chinese, Mexican, and Afghani cooking influences for Thanksgiving.

Writing this is making me hungry....

Dear Boston, please send some of your Sports Mojo to San Francisco

Dear Boston, MA

We (San Francisco) envy you. Your recent success in professional sports can only be matched by our utter failure.

Your beloved Boston Red Sox recently won the World Series by crushing the Colorado Rockies 4-0. Since it seems inevitable that A-Rod will re-join the hated Yankees, they will just be good enough to not win the World Series which leaves the doors open for you guys. Your New England Patriots have captivated the entire sports nation with the march towards the perfect season. The worst that can happen is you may lose a game and be imperfect, but you will win your 4th Lombardi Trophy in 7 years barring any major injuries. Your Boston Celtics, after an initially rough offseason, landed Kevin Garnett hailing the 2nd coming of the Big Three immediately taking the team from bottom feeders to definite playoff and possible championship contender.

We, on the other hand, have the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland A's - bottom feeders of their division last season. It will likely be the same next season. We had Barriod Bonds, but half of us never really cared for him anyways. The San Francisco 49ers are going to have yet another losing season. They are literally half a football team - they have no offensive. Have you ever tried to watch an entire Niners game this season? Don't bother it's painful. The Oakland Raiders are the Oakland Raiders. They don't even have enough fans to fill the stadium - most home games are blacked out on TV. To add insult to injury, the coach constantly tease the few but dedicated Raiders fans by not playing their number draft pick, JaMarcus Russell. And there's the Golden State Warriors. They gave us such high expectations by taking out the Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the playoffs last season only to lose their first 6 games of the seasons landing them last in the Pacific standing. Guess who's next to last? You got it, the Sacramento Kings.

It's apparent that you, Boston, have all the Sports Mojo and we don't. Please share some of it with us. We could really use some right now.

In some sense you owe us. You might be asking us "Why?"

Well, here are 2 reasons:

1) Tom Brady



He grew up in San Mateo, CA. We raised him for you. Everyone compares him to Joe Montana because he probably grew up watching him. Boston, he is your poster boy for all the winning in your part of town because he learned from the best - Joe Montana.

2) Randy Moss



We did you a big favor with Randy. We filtered all the bad stuff out his system in Oakland and now he's going to break Jerry Rice's single season touchdown record. You know how much that hurts? Jerry Rice is a god in San Francisco and Randy, the guy we cleaned up for you, is going to top Jerry. That really hurts.

You owe us big time...

Yeah, I know there's still a long ways to go with the Pats and Celtics, but don't tell me Bostonians aren't enjoying the ride.

So, Boston, please send us some of your Sports Mojo. Thank you.

Regards,
San Francisco, CA

Medical Practices? Dear God...

This person chronicles the 10 most insane medical practices in human history. I don't know where they got this information and I don't know how much of it is true, but it is a hilarious read. The article is titled: The 10 Most Insane Medical Practices in History. If you have a short attention span just jump to #1 Female Hysteria Cures - this one is absolutely hilarious!

I AM CARNIVORE. HEAR ME ROAR!

My wife and I were in a carnivorous mood this weekend. We were in the mood to eat a lot of meat and our dining choices this weekend reflected that.

Coriya Hot Pot City

On Friday night, we decided on hot pot to satiate our carnivorous urges at Coriya Hot Pot City in Richmond, CA. For those who are not familiar with hot pot, it is served as a jamboree of uncooked foods (thinly sliced meats, seafood, tofu, and vegetables) with a pot of hot broth as the centerpiece. You put whatever you want in the pot at the time you want to eat it - cook times are at most a couple of minutes. Coriya is a hot pot buffet. Every table has a pot of broth. There is a burner underneath each table to keep the broth hot. There is also a grill which gives you the option of grilling instead of cooking in broth. The buffet counter is a limitless supply of pretty much all types of raw meats, seafood, and vegetables. As I said earlier, we are in the mood for meat, so we just went straight for the lamb. We just loaded up on thinly sliced lamb and for about an hour we practiced the same repetitive motion: drop the lamb in the hot broth, take it out when it's ready, and pop it in the mouth. I think I ate the equivalent of a whole lamb. It's a lot of fun to eat here because there are so many things to try, but this place is a buffet - quantity still rings louder than quality. I liken Coriya to a fun summer movie - not too much substance, but still very enjoyable.

Sam Won Kal Bi

On Saturday night, we realized are carnivorous urges were still burning strong so we decided to have some Korean BBQ at Sam Won Kal Bi in Oakland, CA. This place gives you a charcoal grill to grill your own meats. We ordered Spicy Marinated Pork (Daeji Bulgogi) and Salted Beef Tongue. They bring it to you raw so that you can barbecue it yourself. The Spicy Marinated Pork is one of my favorite Korean dish. I always enjoy eating it, but on Saturday the Salted Beef Tongue took center stage. I was initially quite skeptical about beef tongue, but I went with it anyway. I've never had it before, but I really enjoyed it. Beef tongue tastes a lot like "normal" beef (who would have known?). It actually tastes like really flavorful beef with a tad more jerky texture than "normal" beef. I'd definitely recommend this dish to anyone who enjoys beef. Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing; all those little Kim Chi dishes that comes with the meals. Sam Won Kal Bi did an excellent job with those dishes - that's always a good sign for a Korean BBQ.

Here are the restaurants I talked about:

• Coriya Hot Pot City: 3288 Pierce St Ste A105, Richmond, CA 94804, (510) 524-8081
• Sam Won Kal Bi: 2600 Telegraph Ave, Oakland, CA 94612, (510) 834-5757
  

Solving the Traffic Problems on Larch

There are traffic problems on Larch. In my opinion, the most critical problems are speeding and the amount of traffic. There are many options on the table: Extra signage, stop signs, speed cushions, traffic cameras, and roundabouts. I would like to add street dividers to the list. I believe a street divider at Larch and Camino Pablo to block off traffic to and from Camino Pablo is another option worth considering.

Here are my opinions on the following options:

Extra signage will not necessarily slow down all drivers. Having signage is a great reminder to slow down for those who care about our traffic issues, but it will not slow down those who do not care about our traffic issues because there are no consequences. We already have a sign at the corner of Canyon and Larch that warns about radar speed checks, but yet problems still exist. Extra signage will help remind the conscientious, but beyond that it isn’t very effective.

Stop signs are very effective, but it does have some unfortunate side effects. Part of the reason for reducing traffic on Larch is to reduce the traffic noise, but having stop signs will cause cars to rev up more often thus creating more traffic noise. Furthermore, I believe that we currently require all four homes on an intersection to sign off before we can put up a new stop sign. If I lived in one of those homes, I would definitely veto a stop sign at my corner because it will cause more traffic noise in front of my house. I was recently interested in purchasing a house that was on a corner with a stop sign before I ended up on Larch - we eventually decided to passed on it because there was too much car-rev-up noise that took away from the whole aesthetic of the house. Since I cannot accept a thing like this, I do not feel right telling my neighbors to “take one for the team.”

Speed cushions are very effective as well, but they have the same problem as stop signs - they will cause more rev up noise from the car. I have a problem with any solution that leads me to say, “It’s fine as long as it’s not near my house”. I don’t want a speed cushion near my house for the same reason I don’t want a stop signs near my house.

Traffic cameras are overkill for Larch. It seems a little “big brother-ish” for a place like this. It is great for busy intersections in metropolitan areas, but it just seems very out of place on Larch thus ruining the overall aesthetic.

Roundabouts are a very interesting idea for Larch. They are practically used everywhere else in the world except the US. They have proven to be safer than traditional intersections for both vehicles and pedestrians. Installing a few of these on key intersections on Larch should slow down the traffic. I would even venture to suggest that roundabouts on Camino Pablo are a better idea than speed cushions. Roundabouts are something we should look into more seriously. This article describes the pros and cons of roundabout in more details:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roundabout

The only concern with this idea is we Americans are infamous for not knowing how to engage roundabouts (There are all sorts of jokes on the Internet about this). Of course there is a bit of tongue-and-cheek with this statement, but the relevant thing about this observation is we are not used to roundabouts. It should not be a big deal because the roundabouts on Larch would be small and not too invasive.

Putting a street divider at the end of Larch to block traffic to and from Camino Pablo is one thing not on the list on options for solving the traffic issues on Larch. This solution is a very effective way for reducing and slowing down vehicle traffic. One important assumption I am making about the street divider is Camino Pablo is meant to be a thoroughfare for vehicle traffic. Not Larch.

When I say street divider, I'm not talking about the white divider that you see all over Berkeley. This is a cement divider in the middle of many large roads that separates traffic flowing in opposing directions. It looks like a typical pedestrian walkway in the middle of a road. Here are a couple of images of what I’m describing:

http://www.theabandonedhouses.com/broad.php

The cement divider will be accessible by pedestrians and cyclists. It will only block the vehicle traffic going to and from Camino Pablo making Larch effectively a dead-end street where Camino Pablo and Larch intersects. This will significantly reduce vehicle traffic on Larch. It will also reduce the speed of the traffic on Larch because the cement divider will make vehicle traffic more Larch-resident exclusive. Larch residents have a stake in making the traffic conditions better so the speeding problem should be reduced. This is not to say a street divider is the silver bullet. In fact, this solution just like every one on the table has its pros and cons. For example, I suspect that there will be a lot of resistances to this idea because a new street divider will significantly change the traffic flow of the entire neighborhood possibly causing some unintended consequences. So we need to have more discussions about this option. The only thing I want to do is put this option on table with the other choices.

In conclusion, we all know there are traffic problems on Larch that needs to be solved. I give a thumbs-down to stop signs, speed cushions, and traffic cameras. Increased signage and traffic circles are definitely worth considering. I give a thumbs-up for a street divider at Larch and Camino Pablo to block vehicle traffic to and from Camino Pablo.

These are my opinions and I'm sure I have not considered all aspects of this issue. It's more important that the voices of the residents of the greater Larch area are heard so please post your comments and opinions on this matter. I look forward to reading and learning from them.

Leadership Survival Guide

This article summarizes the essentials of good leadership:

7 Simple Tips That Will Turn You Into a Powerful Leader

Here's the executive summary:

1. Goals: Keep them simple, communication them often, and set them high
   
2. Motivating People: Reward, empower, and encourage. Dangle the carrot
   
3. Walk the Talk: Practice what you preach. It gives you credibility
4. Inspire: Be positive and constantly push for improvement
5. Process Power: Establish processes and routines then fine tune them
   
6. Embrace Change: Change is the only constant in life. Task risks. Never stop learning
7. Advocacy: Be your team's strongest supporter. Do what it takes to ensure your team's success

Personally or professionally these 7 tips will help you accomplish things. Most importantly, it will make you a better person.

It applies to parents, children, managers, employees, teachers, students, et cetera, et cetera. It applies to everyone. These tips are a guide to dealing with people and getting things done.

It sounds like Tony Robbins blah blah blah crap, right?

What have you got to lose?

Apply them and see the results for yourself.

Let me know how it goes. I looking forward to reading your success stories.

I am a Ball of Incompetence Without My Wife

Let me chronicle the events of a Friday evening I spent with my wife to show you how useless I've become since I've been married.

We are not quite hungry yet so my wife decides she wants to do some shopping before we get dinner. Sounds fine. I go along with the plan. We are at the mall and I'm just doing whatever she tells me to do. I'm on the phone all this time talking to my buddy and following her like a faithful little puppy.

After she's done she tells me to hang up the phone. She puts three items in my arms: a pair of jeans, a pair of shoes, and a jacket she picked out for me. She stuffs three coupons in hand and tells me, "Wait in line and pay for this while I go to pick up the purse I put on hold." I nod like a good husband and she gallops off into the distance.

Let me give you a bit of background about my wife before I go on any further:

She is a avid bargain hunter. She has a way to get every discount and coupon out there in the world to make sure we do not pay full price for anything. I no longer dare to purchase anything without first consulting her because I'll get the, "Don't you know I have a coupon for this? You should ask me before you decide to buy anything." I once bought a flashlight from OSH and she flipped out, "I have coupon! I'm returning this. This flashlight is too expensive." It's a flashlight for godsake! She returned it and bought me a wife-approved flashlight. At this point I don't even buy gum without her approval.

Back to the main storyline.

The line is long and I'm bored out of my mind so I decide to read the coupons. The coupons reads, "30% off any one item". Three coupons for three items - makes sense, but then I noticed that all three coupons have the same UPC code. She got these coupons from the Internet. She just printed three copies of the same coupon. Oh god, my wife made a mistake. I think to myself, "I know how these things work. Once the UPC code is scanned, the computer system will mark that coupon as used and you will no longer be able to reuse it." At least, that's what I would do if I were to write a software system to manage these things.

My wife made a mistake. No problemo. I'll call her to ask her which of the items she would prefer to buy since I've pretty much convince myself that you can only buy one item with the coupons. But of course she doesn't pick up her phone. She probably left it on silent mode to test me.

As I edge closer to the front of the line, I try to choose which one of the three items she would choose if she can only have one. I immediately eliminate the jacket because it is for me. So is it the shoes or the jeans? I cycle back and forth between them so many times that my head hurts.

I'm screwed. I know I'll pick the wrong one and she'll lecture me about how I should have waited until she got back. I'm totally stressed out by this predicament. I look up in frustration and I see my wife in the distance. Thank god, I'm off the hook.

She meets me at the front of the line and I'm feeling smart because of the problem I discovered with the coupons. I tell her about it and she just nonchalantly tells me to pay for each of them separately.

Ok, good point. But A-HA! The UPC codes are the same! Top that honey!

She just calmly says, "Their systems are not smart enough to catch stuff like this. Trust me I've done many times before. We'll be fine."

Well, she's friggin Nostradamus. We got in line three times, paid for each item separately, and got all three items for 30% off. She was right on all counts and I'm feeling like a complete retard.

At this point we are both hungry so we decide to get some food. The place we chose can be reach either via freeway or surface streets. We both knew the way via the freeway, but I felt adventurous and decided to take surface streets which we both didn't know as well, but it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I told my wife I know the general directions so we'll be ok.

Boy was I wrong. I wander around surface streets for almost 20 minutes jumping back and forth between being lost and knowing where I was going:

I started out heading north on Milpitas Blvd. I'm pretty certain that this was the street that took us to the restaurant, but the farther I went north that less sure I was until I saw a cross street I was vaguely familiar with. I think we passed the restaurant and it wasn't on Milpitas Blvd as I orginally thought so I made a left onto the cross street and headed west for about 5 minutes until my wife realizes we are exactly where we started about 20 minutes ago. I'm feeling like a retard again. I gave up on the surface streets and took the freeway to get to the restaurant.

After we exit the freeway and arrive at the intersection where the restaurant is located at I see my wife looks into the distance. She's wearing a grin that goes from ear to ear. I asked her, "What's so funny, honey?" She doesn't say anything. She just continues staring into the distance. I ask her again, "What's so funny, honey?" She still doesn't say anything.

I look to see what she's looking at.

It's a street sign.

It's labeled, "Milpitas Blvd".

I'm a retard.

We both burst into laughter and a thought crosses my mind...

The longer a man is married the more diminished is his ability to be competent at anything.

The Right Brain vs Left Brain Test

In my previous blog I talked about a test that determines if you are left or brain dominant. This is the actual test:


If you see it rotate COUNTER-CLOCKWISE you're a LEFT BRAINER. If you see it rotate CLOCKWISE you're a RIGHT BRAINER.

RIGHT BRAIN ATTRIBUTES
uses feeling, "big picture" oriented, imagination rules, symbols and images, present and future, philosophy & religion, can "get it" (i.e. meaning), believes, appreciates, spatial perception, knows object function, fantasy based, presents possibilities, impetuous, and risk taking

LEFT BRAIN ATTRIBUTES
uses logic, detail oriented, facts rule, words and language, present and past, math and science, can comprehend, knowing, acknowledges, order/pattern perception, knows object name, reality based, forms strategies, practical, and safe

I've shared this test with my friends and we're all having lots of fun with it. I am now able to make this image rotate in either direction almost at will. What does that mean? I'm very confused? Who knows...

Anyways, I originally found this test and the interpretation of the result from:

http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,22492511-5005375,00.html

Whuuh? I'm A Left Brainer?

There is this visual test that allows anyone to determined whether they are left-brain or right brain dominant:

The Right Brain vs Left Brain Test

(if the link doesn't work copy and paste this url: http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,22492511-5005375,00.html)

Before I took that test there was no doubt in my mind that I'm right-brain dominant: I'm left-handed, I'm a big picture thinker, I learn better with images, I'm impetuous, etc. But apparently I'm not. The result of the test shows that I'm left-brain dominant which means I'm logical, detail oriented, reality-based, practical, etc. I'm sooo disappointed in myself. All this time I thought I was some really cool-artistic-outside-the-box-thinker dude - but no - I'm just an unimaginative pencil pusher who cannot tell difference between fuchsia and pink. I must conclude that either the test is flawed or I'm just plain confused :)

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I am right-brain dominant. I've always been drawn to creative oriented things. I've always painted things with a big strokes. I learn better with pictures that with words. For example, my folks - though they never discouraged my creativity - were concerned that I would major in art or music and become a starving artist or a ballet dancer. Instead I majored in engineering and now I'm working in a job where logical and strategic thinking are keys to success.

Go figure.

At some point in time I was right-brain dominant, but I've been brain-washed by academic institutions and beaten down with the realities of a job. I'm assuming somewhere during that time, my left-brain began trying to take over. This is evolution in action - it's the survival of the fittest side of my brain! The left side of my brain declared war on my right side of my brain. It must still be going on because I have very strong right-brain dominant traits and some very typical left-brain dominant traits. Epiphany! That why people get headaches from time to time - the sides of the brain are at war!

My gut feeling tells me this is the cause of my headaches (right-brain thought), but logically that absolutely makes no sense (left-brain thought).

Grrrrr, I'm sooo confused.

Conclusion: Test is not flawed. I'm just confused because my brain is at war with itself. Does this mean I'm crazy?

A Cultural Change is Needed to Solve the Energy Crisis - Fuel Efficient Needs Be Sexy

I recently heard the After Oil podcast and I found it to be a great discussion about the current state of our energy crisis. They discuss projects that use different techniques to improve energy efficiency and projects that focus on bringing alternative energy sources to the masses. Regardless of which approach is taken, one thing that stood out in their discussion is the cultural aspect associated with the energy crisis; The energy crisis is real. We all can do something about it, but no matter what type of new technology is created to solve this crisis there must be a cultural change. We must change our attitude. We must change the way we think about these things.

Let's focus on an automobile's fuel efficiency since they are a major contributor to the energy crisis. We like big cars. We like fast cars. I am no different. But we must change. We should want fuel efficient cars.

Joan Ogden, Professor of Environmental Science and Policy at UC Davis, mentions in the podcast that there are many technology improvements making car engines more efficient, but most improvements focuses on making cars go from 0 to 60 faster instead of making them go farther with the same amount of fuel. Currently acceleration, speed, and power are sexy. We need to make fuel efficiency sexy. A cultural change is needed.

Here are some things to consider:

1) Cap the speedometer at 100 mph

Most highway and freeway speed limits are between 55 to 65 mph - definitely no more than 80 mph, yet most cars can go well over 100 mph. Why does a automobile need to go beyond 80 mph if it's not legal to do so? So let's be conservative and cap the speedometer at 100 mph so the highway patrol still have something to do.

2) So what if it goes from 0 to 60 in 30 seconds?

Ok I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get the point. The energy crisis is a bigger problem in metropolitan areas where there is a lot of traffic congestion. We rarely get a chance to use acceleration (or speed for that matter) in such places. I argue that we don't need the acceleration of a Porsche. A Honda Accord should suffice. Next time you're in the market for car consider fuel efficiency instead of acceleration and speed.

3) We don't need all that power

Most of us do not need the power of a Toyota Tundra. If you need one to haul your boat or horse-trailer, I believe you are the exception to the norm. There is a need for some people to own a Toyota Tundra-like vehicle (like contractors) but the power of a normal 4-door sedan will probably work for most consumers. Pass on the oversize and suped-up vehicles if you don't need one.

4) Do not buy SUVs

SUVs give us a false sense of coolness and we are all drinking the koolaid. I want to single out SUVs because I believe that it's a brilliant marketing campaign and nothing more. You can't really do any sport-like activities with them nor would most SUV owners want to try to do anything of that nature - you can't really go off-roading with most of them anyway. The Cadillac Escalade is too beautiful to be taken off-roading. The consumer Hummer is just the shell of the army Hummer. Taking it off-roading is a one-way trip to the repair shop. Furthermore, most SUVs do not give anymore seating capacity than a normal 4-door sedan. SUVs are basically an over-priced car with supremely bad fuel efficiency and a penchant for rolling over. You're a soccer mom whether you hide behind the marketing or not. Buy a station wagon, they have the same seating capacity and similar trunk space, but better fuel efficiency. If you really have a need for big-time seating capacity, buy a minivan. They have better seating capacity, a little better mpg, and a friendlier price tag. And most importantly, Soccer moms are still hot whether they drive a SUV, station wagon, or minivan :) The car does not make you who you are. Look pass the marketing and do the right thing.

These suggestions are simple and straightforward, yet I'm sure you're thinking that it cannot be done because. It's idealistic and maybe even ridiculous, right? You are correct because big and fast cars exists because we want them. But we need to solve the energy crisis and it will require involvement from everyone - corporations, governments, and most importantly us. It all starts with us. We need to want fuel efficient cars. If we want fuel efficient cars, corporation will provide it to us. We need to demand from the government policies, laws, and incentives to ensure that auto companies focus on improving energy efficiency with cars just like it did with kitchen appliances.

The worst part about a cultural change is it is initially very difficult to overcome because we are creatures of habit, but once you get over the hump you wonder why you didn't do it earlier. I went through this a few years back when I traded in a car that had more acceleration, power, and speed than my current one. My first few weeks of driving it was weird, but I adjusted and I love my current car. In fact, I would get the exact same model once it's time to trade in my current one - assuming there isn't a more fuel efficient one out there.

Shanghai Delight

I love Shanghainese food. If I had to pick one type of food, which I really prefer not to do, I would have to go with Shanghainese food. My wife and I recently went to Milpitas, CA for some Shanghainese food at a place called Shanghai Delight (Shang Hai Jia Chang Cai)

This is one of the regular spots we go to every time we are in that part of town. Pretty much everything on the menu is worth a try, but something we always order is the Du Dang (The belly of a Carp) or the Hua Shui (Tail of a Carp).

These two dishes are classic Shanghai dishes. It's basically the same dish, but it is either the belly or tail of the fish. The carp is braised in a traditional Shanghainese dark sauce - it is lathered in this sauce. The key to this dish is the freshness of the carp and the sauce that's a combination of black vinegar, sugar, and soy sauce. This sauce is the key - a flavor that is pretty prevalent in most Shanghainese dish.

If you love seafood go to Shanghai Delight and order either the Du Dang or the Hua Shui. These guys do a very good job - probably the best in the Bay Area.

Address and Contact Information:

Shanghai Delight (Shang Hai Jia Chang Cai)
218 Barber Court
Milpitas, CA 95035
408.434.6888