The saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." very much applies to me. That's how my wife "tricked" me into marrying her :)
We were at Safeway's meat section and she saw a package of grounded lamb. She picked it up and said, "Interesting, I've never seen this before. Cool, I can make lamb meatball soup for dinner." I felt my eyes get watery. We got home and I played good husband for the rest of the day - I basically do everything she tells me to do.
It's close to dinner time. I'm sitting in the living room waiting for my wife to say "Dinner time!" When she finally says it, I pop off the sofa and start setting the table. I never pop off the sofa on the first call. You do that when you're the boyfriend not the husband. I digress. I pick up the bowl containing the lamb meatball soup and put it on the table. It's love at first sight. We sit down and eat. It was gorgeous. Here's the description of the Lamb Meatball Soup. Obviously there is lamb meatball. It is accompanied by clear vermicelli, daikon slices, and wood ear all in the soup. I gorged myself on this dish. In fact, I can still taste it as I'm writing this.
I love my wife.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
A Trip Down Memory Lane - Grand Lake Theatre
After dinner, my wife and I headed to Grand Lake Theatre to see Lust, Caution, the latest Ang Lee flick. Grand Lake Theatre is located near Lake Merritt in Oakland, CA. This is where I lived as a child. Driving there gave me an expected feeling - I kept pointing out and describing all the different things I did at certain landmarks to my wife. I was getting more and more excited about going back there as I got closer to the theatre.
When we finally got there I was overwhelmed by two things: I felt like a kid again and the beauty of this theatre - something I could never appreciate as a kid because I was too excited about my folks taking me to a movie.
The smell of the popcorn and the same red carpet just brought back the fond memories of my mom taking me to see E.T., the Indiana Jones movies, et cetera, et cetera. It was quite amazing that I still remember all the different nook and crannies of this place - the location of bathrooms and the stairways to the balcony section. Dude, did I ever wish I was a kid again.
We actually arrived about 30 minutes early , so I decided to give my wife a tour of the theatre since I apparently knew it like the back of my hand. The theatre is beautiful. The interior design and architecture just cannot be found in the newer megaplexes that crop up everywhere these days. The entrance has a chandelier. The wall at the top of stair has a beautiful painting. The details in the interior are covered with a design that seems to come from a different era. The main theatre room had an organist playing on the organ. I noticed that the seats were new, no longer the creaky wooden ones I used to sit on. That was disappointing, just because I was hoping to show my wife what a seat back then looks like. That was the only thing that changed - it least that was the way I remembered it. Each theatre room had a unique theme - one was Persian rugs. Another was Egyptian. My wife, having not grown up here has never seen a theatre like this, was also caught up in the beauty of the architecture and design.
The Grand Lake Theatre is a beautiful threatre that made our movie experience that night much more memorable. In my case, it became the main attraction and the movie took 2nd billing. Unfortunately this type of theatre is a dying breed and I'm just thankful that this one is still around so that I can revisit my child.
When we finally got there I was overwhelmed by two things: I felt like a kid again and the beauty of this theatre - something I could never appreciate as a kid because I was too excited about my folks taking me to a movie.
The smell of the popcorn and the same red carpet just brought back the fond memories of my mom taking me to see E.T., the Indiana Jones movies, et cetera, et cetera. It was quite amazing that I still remember all the different nook and crannies of this place - the location of bathrooms and the stairways to the balcony section. Dude, did I ever wish I was a kid again.
We actually arrived about 30 minutes early , so I decided to give my wife a tour of the theatre since I apparently knew it like the back of my hand. The theatre is beautiful. The interior design and architecture just cannot be found in the newer megaplexes that crop up everywhere these days. The entrance has a chandelier. The wall at the top of stair has a beautiful painting. The details in the interior are covered with a design that seems to come from a different era. The main theatre room had an organist playing on the organ. I noticed that the seats were new, no longer the creaky wooden ones I used to sit on. That was disappointing, just because I was hoping to show my wife what a seat back then looks like. That was the only thing that changed - it least that was the way I remembered it. Each theatre room had a unique theme - one was Persian rugs. Another was Egyptian. My wife, having not grown up here has never seen a theatre like this, was also caught up in the beauty of the architecture and design.
The Grand Lake Theatre is a beautiful threatre that made our movie experience that night much more memorable. In my case, it became the main attraction and the movie took 2nd billing. Unfortunately this type of theatre is a dying breed and I'm just thankful that this one is still around so that I can revisit my child.
Lucky & Lucky Restaurant - Lucky me!
My wife and I decide to have dinner at Lucky & Lucky Restaurant in Oakland Chinatown. My folks recommended this place. The worst part was trying to get directions from my mother. She always gives directions from her point of view - she just assumes that you're in her head. She gives no context and doesn't understand why you do know what she's talking about. Here's a snippet of what she told me:
"It's across the street from ABC Restaurant. Just keep going straight and then turn. Wait don't turn. It's actually close by this other restaurant. Actually, not really. Ok, you know where Restaurant ABC is. Just keep going straight and you will eventually see it across the street"
Ok mom, got it. Just to verify. Was that a left or a right on the place I'm not supposed to turn?
Turns out Lucky & Lucky was two blocks north of ABC Restaurant on the same side of the street. Good thing my mom's taste in food isn't as bad as her directions.
Anyways, Lucky & Lucky serves Chao Zhou food. Chao Zhou is the eastern most part of the Guang Zhou province near the border of Fujian province. A lot of the Chao Zhou influence has made their way into Cantonese cuisine as well, so this place actually serves both Chao Zhou and Cantonese food.
Here's what we ordered:
I'm going to describe each one and hopefully you'll get a better idea of whether you'd like to drop in and give it a try.
Chao Zhou Duck
This, I'm told, is a classic Chao Zhou dish just like Roast Duck is classic Beijing dish. This dish is prepared by marinating the whole duck in a dark sauce that consists of soy sauce mixed with a bunch of other spices (called Lu Shui in Chinese). This dish can be served cold or hot, though I believe it's traditionally served cold. I love this dish and these guys do fail to impress. If you enjoy Beijing Roast Duck, you should absolutely give it a try, but know that it is very different in flavor and texture.
Fish Maw and Egg White Stir Fry
This one was my favorite. This dish is a stir fry of fish maw, egg white, and yellow chives. Take this one slowly. I didn't it because it was sooo good and before I knew it I couldn't handle anymore. This is a very rich dish, that's part of the reason why it is so good, but it's also the reason why you should take it slowly or else it's the end of the fun.
Fish Soup/Fish Filet and Celery Stir Fry
This is a two part dish. Part one - The fish soup. It looks like non-fat milk with a touch of parsley. It tastes a lot like clam chowder in the way the clam chowder has a strong seafood flavor. If you like clam chowder, you're going to enjoy this. There's a bonus dish; The ingredients used to make this soup is separated from the soup and served as a separate dish. The ingredients consists of tofu, fish bones, mustard greens, and thousand years old eggs. As you're sipping on the soup, you snack on the ingredients. Just dip them in a special soy sauce that comes with this dish. Part two - fish filet and celery stir fry. It is exactly as the name describes - a very typical Cantonese dish. A good ending to a two part dish.
This place is great. It's on the top of our list now. We loved it and can't wait to go back again and try different things. The waitresses are extremely friendly, warm, and welcoming. It's not fancy. There are no frills. The food is matter of fact and real. It's country cooking at it's best folks!
Address and Contact information:
Lucky & Lucky Restaurant
1116 Franklin Street
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 839-6028
"It's across the street from ABC Restaurant. Just keep going straight and then turn. Wait don't turn. It's actually close by this other restaurant. Actually, not really. Ok, you know where Restaurant ABC is. Just keep going straight and you will eventually see it across the street"
Ok mom, got it. Just to verify. Was that a left or a right on the place I'm not supposed to turn?
Turns out Lucky & Lucky was two blocks north of ABC Restaurant on the same side of the street. Good thing my mom's taste in food isn't as bad as her directions.
Anyways, Lucky & Lucky serves Chao Zhou food. Chao Zhou is the eastern most part of the Guang Zhou province near the border of Fujian province. A lot of the Chao Zhou influence has made their way into Cantonese cuisine as well, so this place actually serves both Chao Zhou and Cantonese food.
Here's what we ordered:
- Chao Zhou Duck (Chao Zhou Lu Shui Ya)
- Fish Maw and Egg White Stir Fry (Gui Fei Chao Yu Du)
- Fish Soup/Fish Filet and Celery Stir Fry (Shi Jiu Gong Liang Chi)
I'm going to describe each one and hopefully you'll get a better idea of whether you'd like to drop in and give it a try.
Chao Zhou Duck
This, I'm told, is a classic Chao Zhou dish just like Roast Duck is classic Beijing dish. This dish is prepared by marinating the whole duck in a dark sauce that consists of soy sauce mixed with a bunch of other spices (called Lu Shui in Chinese). This dish can be served cold or hot, though I believe it's traditionally served cold. I love this dish and these guys do fail to impress. If you enjoy Beijing Roast Duck, you should absolutely give it a try, but know that it is very different in flavor and texture.
Fish Maw and Egg White Stir Fry
This one was my favorite. This dish is a stir fry of fish maw, egg white, and yellow chives. Take this one slowly. I didn't it because it was sooo good and before I knew it I couldn't handle anymore. This is a very rich dish, that's part of the reason why it is so good, but it's also the reason why you should take it slowly or else it's the end of the fun.
Fish Soup/Fish Filet and Celery Stir Fry
This is a two part dish. Part one - The fish soup. It looks like non-fat milk with a touch of parsley. It tastes a lot like clam chowder in the way the clam chowder has a strong seafood flavor. If you like clam chowder, you're going to enjoy this. There's a bonus dish; The ingredients used to make this soup is separated from the soup and served as a separate dish. The ingredients consists of tofu, fish bones, mustard greens, and thousand years old eggs. As you're sipping on the soup, you snack on the ingredients. Just dip them in a special soy sauce that comes with this dish. Part two - fish filet and celery stir fry. It is exactly as the name describes - a very typical Cantonese dish. A good ending to a two part dish.
This place is great. It's on the top of our list now. We loved it and can't wait to go back again and try different things. The waitresses are extremely friendly, warm, and welcoming. It's not fancy. There are no frills. The food is matter of fact and real. It's country cooking at it's best folks!
Address and Contact information:
Lucky & Lucky Restaurant
1116 Franklin Street
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 839-6028
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Burger Me!
I'm a burger lover. I'm always in the mood for a good burger. If you're like me you're always on the hunt for a good burger joint. Here are the places around the Bay Area that are on the top of my list (If you know of anymore places, please let me know):
Val's Burger
A friend of mine introduced Val's Burger to me and I love him deeply for it. This place is Mecca for burger lovers. I'm told they butcher the beef themselves. Definite plus. Their menu consists of the Baby Burger (1/3 lb), Mama Burger (1/2 lb) , and Papa Burger (1 lb). There's obviously more on the menu, but everything else is irrelevant for the purpose of this discussion. A girly man gets a Baby Burger. A real man gets a Mama Burger. A manly man gets a Papa Burger. It's all the same burger, just different sizes, so it depends how hungry you are. Do not make the mistake of adding extra stuff like mushroom or bacon to this burger. You're just insulting the burger and you'll lose in the end. When, not "if", you go there just remember that there is just you and the burger. Nothing else matters.
Peninsula Fountain and Grill
This place is classic. You walk in and you're feelin' like you're in a 1950s diner - The burger, the fries, and the shakes. Yeah, it's like that. Sound good already doesn't it? They have several different types of burger. They're all good. Just remember to wash it down with a milkshake. Go there. Sit down. Order a burger, fries, and milkshake. Turn off your cell phone, your pager, and your iPod. Turn off everything except your tastebuds and eat with reckless abandon.
Cafe Rouge
This place is different from the other two mentioned above. It's not a burger joint. It's not a diner. This place is an excellent restaurant with a full menu that just happens to have a really awesome burger. They call it the Rouge Hamburger. They can call it whatever they want, I call it salvation. Unlike most burgers, this one ranks high on the foo foo scale because it's made from organic beef that is freshly butchered everyday and the buns are not an afterthought. It is really good bread. This is the best foo foo burger in town. I know the concept of a foo foo burger sounds strange, but trust me on this one.
Here are the burger joints I talked about:
Val's Burger
A friend of mine introduced Val's Burger to me and I love him deeply for it. This place is Mecca for burger lovers. I'm told they butcher the beef themselves. Definite plus. Their menu consists of the Baby Burger (1/3 lb), Mama Burger (1/2 lb) , and Papa Burger (1 lb). There's obviously more on the menu, but everything else is irrelevant for the purpose of this discussion. A girly man gets a Baby Burger. A real man gets a Mama Burger. A manly man gets a Papa Burger. It's all the same burger, just different sizes, so it depends how hungry you are. Do not make the mistake of adding extra stuff like mushroom or bacon to this burger. You're just insulting the burger and you'll lose in the end. When, not "if", you go there just remember that there is just you and the burger. Nothing else matters.
Peninsula Fountain and Grill
This place is classic. You walk in and you're feelin' like you're in a 1950s diner - The burger, the fries, and the shakes. Yeah, it's like that. Sound good already doesn't it? They have several different types of burger. They're all good. Just remember to wash it down with a milkshake. Go there. Sit down. Order a burger, fries, and milkshake. Turn off your cell phone, your pager, and your iPod. Turn off everything except your tastebuds and eat with reckless abandon.
Cafe Rouge
This place is different from the other two mentioned above. It's not a burger joint. It's not a diner. This place is an excellent restaurant with a full menu that just happens to have a really awesome burger. They call it the Rouge Hamburger. They can call it whatever they want, I call it salvation. Unlike most burgers, this one ranks high on the foo foo scale because it's made from organic beef that is freshly butchered everyday and the buns are not an afterthought. It is really good bread. This is the best foo foo burger in town. I know the concept of a foo foo burger sounds strange, but trust me on this one.
Here are the burger joints I talked about:
- Val's Burger: 2115 Kelly St, Hayward, CA 9454 (510) 889-8257 (Closed Sundays and Mondays)
- Peninsula Fountain & Grill: 566 Emerson Street, Palo Alto, CA 94301 (650) 327-3141
- Cafe Rouge
Monday, October 22, 2007
Food at 4th street - Berkeley, CA
4th street is an awesome place to hang out. My wife and I love to go there. She loves the shops there, particularly Anthropologie and Restoration Hardware. I do enjoy going from shop to shop with her, but I'm usually anxious to get to the restaurants and markets (surprise, surprise). My favorite spots are The Pasta Shop, Cafe Rouge, and Tacubaya
The Pasta Shop
The stuff at The Pasta Shop are awesome. We usually leave with some cold cuts and bread. We've also tried a lot of their specialty jams and salsa dips and we've never been disappointed. They are definitely not Safeway, Trader Joes, nor Whole Foods. They are more like a specialty food shop. One thing to be mindful of is they are a bit on the pricey side so watch your wallet when shopping here.
Cafe Rouge
Cafe Rouge is a restaurant that has it's own meat market. All their meats are organic. They butcher it themselves. Needless to say all things meat are excellent. Here are my recommendations:
Tacubaya
Tacubaya is an excellent taco place. The portions are appetizer size so you can order a whole bunch of different stuff in one sitting. We actually went there this weekend and this is what we order:
The Pasta Shop
The stuff at The Pasta Shop are awesome. We usually leave with some cold cuts and bread. We've also tried a lot of their specialty jams and salsa dips and we've never been disappointed. They are definitely not Safeway, Trader Joes, nor Whole Foods. They are more like a specialty food shop. One thing to be mindful of is they are a bit on the pricey side so watch your wallet when shopping here.
Cafe Rouge
Cafe Rouge is a restaurant that has it's own meat market. All their meats are organic. They butcher it themselves. Needless to say all things meat are excellent. Here are my recommendations:
- Steak frites with red wine shallot butter
- ½ lb. Rouge hamburger and French fries
- Housemade charcuterie plate
Tacubaya
Tacubaya is an excellent taco place. The portions are appetizer size so you can order a whole bunch of different stuff in one sitting. We actually went there this weekend and this is what we order:
- Taco al Pastor
- Taco de Lengua
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Priceless
There is this thing out there where people show innocent bystanders a shock website and record their reaction from seeing it for the first time. The one I'm talking about is apparently a famous one. The name starts with "goat". If you know what I'm talking about, your as sick as me. If you don't, it doesn't matter you just need to know that it is obscenely shocking.
I decided to pull this cruel joke on my wife.
Here is my version of what happened:
It's Sunday evening. We're in the living room sitting on our new Seabury sofa from Pottery Barn. The Planet Earth Series DVD is playing on our TV. We've been casually munching on fruits. We're both surfing the Internet. We been at this for about an hour or so. The mood is serene and mellow. We are totally zen'ed out.
It's the perfect time to pull something like this.
I angle my laptop away from her view and I bring the shock website up on my screen. I maximize the browser for full effect. I turn to my wife and say, "Hey honey, check this out, I want to see what you think about this." She takes my laptop and views it. She literally bounces off the couch screaming. She yells at me, "HOW CAN YOU SHOW ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" and stomps all the way into our bedroom. I'm rolling. I'm in the fetal position. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts. The stomping stops. The bedroom door slam shut. The lock clicks. I'm in the doghouse, but I still cannot stop laughing. I stumble my way towards our bedroom. I try opening to door. I'm still laughing. The door is still locked so I utter, "Honey, open the door, it was just a joke. I'm sorry". No answer. I knock on the door and utter through my laughter, "Honey, I'm sorry, I didn't think you would be so upset." She questions me again, "HOW CAN YOU SHOW ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" I'm still laughing. I mutter a response through my laughter, "It's a joke, honey. I was just play around with you." She growls, "IT'S NOT FUNNY!" I'm still laughing. She growls again, "I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR UNTIL YOU STOP LAUGHING!". I'm still laughing. I'm still laughing as I write this.
Planet Earth Series DVD: $55
Internet Connectivity: $30
Her laptop: $2000
My laptop: $2000
Seabury sofa: $2300
My wife's reaction: PRICELESS
I hope she doesn't read this.
I decided to pull this cruel joke on my wife.
Here is my version of what happened:
It's Sunday evening. We're in the living room sitting on our new Seabury sofa from Pottery Barn. The Planet Earth Series DVD is playing on our TV. We've been casually munching on fruits. We're both surfing the Internet. We been at this for about an hour or so. The mood is serene and mellow. We are totally zen'ed out.
It's the perfect time to pull something like this.
I angle my laptop away from her view and I bring the shock website up on my screen. I maximize the browser for full effect. I turn to my wife and say, "Hey honey, check this out, I want to see what you think about this." She takes my laptop and views it. She literally bounces off the couch screaming. She yells at me, "HOW CAN YOU SHOW ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" and stomps all the way into our bedroom. I'm rolling. I'm in the fetal position. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts. The stomping stops. The bedroom door slam shut. The lock clicks. I'm in the doghouse, but I still cannot stop laughing. I stumble my way towards our bedroom. I try opening to door. I'm still laughing. The door is still locked so I utter, "Honey, open the door, it was just a joke. I'm sorry". No answer. I knock on the door and utter through my laughter, "Honey, I'm sorry, I didn't think you would be so upset." She questions me again, "HOW CAN YOU SHOW ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" I'm still laughing. I mutter a response through my laughter, "It's a joke, honey. I was just play around with you." She growls, "IT'S NOT FUNNY!" I'm still laughing. She growls again, "I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR UNTIL YOU STOP LAUGHING!". I'm still laughing. I'm still laughing as I write this.
Planet Earth Series DVD: $55
Internet Connectivity: $30
Her laptop: $2000
My laptop: $2000
Seabury sofa: $2300
My wife's reaction: PRICELESS
I hope she doesn't read this.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Highlights from my niece's birthday party
About two months ago I got word from my wife that our niece is going to get a huge birthday bash. The parents, my wife, and (by default) yours truly will be involved in planning the party every step of the way. Yip Friggin Pee!
Problem is I can't say to my wife, "No thanks, I'm busy blogging" because I'll risk practicing celibacy for the foreseeable future so I suck it up and play the part of the good uncle even though the thought of 20+ kids running and screaming while high on soda and candy makes me want to Seppuku.
Let me pause for a quick disclaimer:
Before all of ya'll get mad at me; I am painting this with a "little" more dramatic flare for the sake of humor. I love you through and through and that why I'm embarrassing you.
Here are the highlights:
My wife and I bought our niece the Pottery Barn Kids dollhouse for her birthday. My wife always wanted one when she was a little girl. She never got one, so now she's getting one for our niece. Well, so far the dollhouse has been used more by my wife and I than the niece. Truth is the niece will probably appreciate it more when she's a bit older, but right now my wife is appreciating it just fine. I'm a bit ashame to admit it, but I very much enjoyed playing with it too. I became quite obsessed with maximizing the space in the dollhouse for about half an hour. I'm not sure why, but I think it's related to my current remodeling work of my kitchen and family room. Well, if the dollhouse doesn't work out for my niece, I'm sure my wife wouldn't mind keeping it for herself.
My sister-in-law thinks my world rotates around her daughter
This all started when my sister-in-law thought it would be awesome for me to do a song and dance with my guitar during the birthday bash. I immediately get this picture in my head; I'm dressed like one of the tards from The Wiggles and one of the hyper-exuberant kids who's gyrating a little beyond his own control accidentally whacks me in the crouch. "No. I'm not doing this", I think to myself. The reply to the sister-in-law came out a little different, "Sure, I can do it, but I don't know any children songs". My wife will not be happy if I say no (cross reference JS hates celibacy). I had to say yes, but I'm thinking I'm so clever by adding, "I don't know any children songs". She'll think I'm not right for the job and find another option. I'm off the hook!
The next day she gives me a CD filled with children song, "JS, learn the songs in the CD by Sunday, ok?" Damn, my plan didn't work. "Sure no problem", was my reply. That's not what I envisioned coming out of my mouth. Ok, the celibacy thing doesn't seem so bad now so I bring this up with my wife, "Honey, your sister actually thinks I'm going to do a song and dance at the party. Does she think MY world rotates around her daughter? I don't have to time to practice. I busy blogging and I hate children songs". My wife was actually quite supportive - she replies, "Don't worry she's just teasing you. She understands you're busy". So I whip out the CD, "But honey she gave me this CD!". The wife replies, "I don't worry about it. She's just kidding with you."
All is well for a few days until the sister-in-law asked, "So, have you been practicing the children songs?" Seppuku time. "Uh, um, yeah about that..hehe..I'm been busy sis, haven't had a chance to practice". She smiles and replies, "Well, you still have Saturday to practice. That's one full day. Plenty of time." Great, I can't wait to get whacked in the crouch by a retarded hobbit. So I complain to my wife again, "I think you're wrong honey. She's serious. She's gonna make me dress up like one of those idiots in The Wiggles!". Same response, "Don't worry honey, she's just joking with you."
Sunday morning rolls around and my wife and I are loading all the party stuff into my car. I see my guitar in the car as well. I didn't load it. Dude, my wife is in on the scam! I can picture it now - Monday morning, "Boss, can't make it into work today. Don't feel well". Boss's response, "Why's that? You ok? By the way, I need a doctor's note for the HR records". Doctor's note will read, "JS got whacked in the crouch by a child".
My sister-in-law tells one of our mutual acquaintances that he is ugly
During the course of the birthday party, I'm having a conversation with this guy - a mutual acquaintance of my sister-in-law and me. My sister-in-law interrupts and tells me, "JS, I've recently met his wife. She is really pretty" So I play along, "Lucky guy. Pretty wives are always good." The sister-in-law continues and say to our mutual acquaintance, "Yeah, you are ugly and your wife is pretty. Lucky guy." He's flabbergasted so he immediately pulls out his Blackberry and shows us a picture of his 17 year old daughter, "My ugly genes created this". His daughter is very pretty and I responded, "So when does she turn 18?" Silence. My wife is standing right behind me. Celibacy isn't that bad.
Problem is I can't say to my wife, "No thanks, I'm busy blogging" because I'll risk practicing celibacy for the foreseeable future so I suck it up and play the part of the good uncle even though the thought of 20+ kids running and screaming while high on soda and candy makes me want to Seppuku.
Let me pause for a quick disclaimer:
Before all of ya'll get mad at me; I am painting this with a "little" more dramatic flare for the sake of humor. I love you through and through and that why I'm embarrassing you.
Here are the highlights:
- My wife was projecting herself onto our niece
- My sister-in-law thinks my world rotates around her daughter
- My sister-in-law tells one of our mutual acquaintances that he is ugly
My wife and I bought our niece the Pottery Barn Kids dollhouse for her birthday. My wife always wanted one when she was a little girl. She never got one, so now she's getting one for our niece. Well, so far the dollhouse has been used more by my wife and I than the niece. Truth is the niece will probably appreciate it more when she's a bit older, but right now my wife is appreciating it just fine. I'm a bit ashame to admit it, but I very much enjoyed playing with it too. I became quite obsessed with maximizing the space in the dollhouse for about half an hour. I'm not sure why, but I think it's related to my current remodeling work of my kitchen and family room. Well, if the dollhouse doesn't work out for my niece, I'm sure my wife wouldn't mind keeping it for herself.
My sister-in-law thinks my world rotates around her daughter
This all started when my sister-in-law thought it would be awesome for me to do a song and dance with my guitar during the birthday bash. I immediately get this picture in my head; I'm dressed like one of the tards from The Wiggles and one of the hyper-exuberant kids who's gyrating a little beyond his own control accidentally whacks me in the crouch. "No. I'm not doing this", I think to myself. The reply to the sister-in-law came out a little different, "Sure, I can do it, but I don't know any children songs". My wife will not be happy if I say no (cross reference JS hates celibacy). I had to say yes, but I'm thinking I'm so clever by adding, "I don't know any children songs". She'll think I'm not right for the job and find another option. I'm off the hook!
The next day she gives me a CD filled with children song, "JS, learn the songs in the CD by Sunday, ok?" Damn, my plan didn't work. "Sure no problem", was my reply. That's not what I envisioned coming out of my mouth. Ok, the celibacy thing doesn't seem so bad now so I bring this up with my wife, "Honey, your sister actually thinks I'm going to do a song and dance at the party. Does she think MY world rotates around her daughter? I don't have to time to practice. I busy blogging and I hate children songs". My wife was actually quite supportive - she replies, "Don't worry she's just teasing you. She understands you're busy". So I whip out the CD, "But honey she gave me this CD!". The wife replies, "I don't worry about it. She's just kidding with you."
All is well for a few days until the sister-in-law asked, "So, have you been practicing the children songs?" Seppuku time. "Uh, um, yeah about that..hehe..I'm been busy sis, haven't had a chance to practice". She smiles and replies, "Well, you still have Saturday to practice. That's one full day. Plenty of time." Great, I can't wait to get whacked in the crouch by a retarded hobbit. So I complain to my wife again, "I think you're wrong honey. She's serious. She's gonna make me dress up like one of those idiots in The Wiggles!". Same response, "Don't worry honey, she's just joking with you."
Sunday morning rolls around and my wife and I are loading all the party stuff into my car. I see my guitar in the car as well. I didn't load it. Dude, my wife is in on the scam! I can picture it now - Monday morning, "Boss, can't make it into work today. Don't feel well". Boss's response, "Why's that? You ok? By the way, I need a doctor's note for the HR records". Doctor's note will read, "JS got whacked in the crouch by a child".
My sister-in-law tells one of our mutual acquaintances that he is ugly
During the course of the birthday party, I'm having a conversation with this guy - a mutual acquaintance of my sister-in-law and me. My sister-in-law interrupts and tells me, "JS, I've recently met his wife. She is really pretty" So I play along, "Lucky guy. Pretty wives are always good." The sister-in-law continues and say to our mutual acquaintance, "Yeah, you are ugly and your wife is pretty. Lucky guy." He's flabbergasted so he immediately pulls out his Blackberry and shows us a picture of his 17 year old daughter, "My ugly genes created this". His daughter is very pretty and I responded, "So when does she turn 18?" Silence. My wife is standing right behind me. Celibacy isn't that bad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
